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Old 04-15-2016, 06:13 PM   #1
Delsol
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Strangest meditation yet

Today I had the strangest meditation experience. It was more physical than spiritual, so I feel it is alright to share it.

After settling into Hong Sau I became aware of that wonderful expansion sensation through the top of my head; but soon after, my eyebrows began to twitch. Thinking this must be tension, I kept focus on the breath. The twitching expanded. My teeth began to chatter. At first it was just just a few taps in the molar area, but this became a progressive stream of constant audible chatter - my jaws actually moving, banging. This progressed in intensity until my physical head felt as if it were completely filled with vibration, as if it could burst with it. At the same time, I was aware of a background roaring noise, like a train passing... like the vibration itself had a sound. All of this continued to intensify gradually. I could hear my breath, my teeth banging incessantly, this roaring sound, and then... my jaw made a certain movement and, pop! Only it wasn't a pop - it was a chime. An honest to goodness beautiful chime, like a musical instrument in my left ear. I have heard tones and ringing many times, but this was different. The chime happened only once, but the vibration and teeth chattering continued until my timer went off and I had to end the session - twenty minutes total. The strangest part of all? I was thinking and noticing everything the entire time. Was not 'deep' into meditation at all. I sat, did some breathing exercises, was just getting into it - then all this came about. I am left puzzled. Thoughts? What was that?

P.S. I was wearing earplugs, if that makes any difference. Hmmm.
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:00 AM   #2
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Thanks for sharing. It sounds like a kundalini experience. The result of a lot of energy concentrating in your nervous system. Apparently all sorts of anomalies can occur under the label kundalini. The types of experiences we will have probably depends on how our nervous system is uniquely formed. Just my 10 cents.

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Old 04-16-2016, 07:26 PM   #3
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Thanks Brock. Perhaps. I do not know.

I am not an ideal yogini. My relationship with Master is complex - decades long now, and rife with rebellious periods and questions.

Since I was very young I have had spiritual (paranormal?) experiences. This bred an insatiable curiosity in all things other worldy. When I took on the Yogananda teachings, I signed a paper that promised I would be true to the Guru and put an end to my 'spiritual indigestion'. This made sense at the time, but here I am all these years later - still wondering. When it came time for Kriya initiation, I declined. Why? I was expected to make a promise - like a marriage - to be true to the Guru not just in this life, but all lives - and knew my own nature better. Still, I am very loyal - and even without that contract, I have denied myself all explorations beyond what Master advises. Despite this, the yearning to explore has remained.

Recently, due to life changes beyond my control, I find myself in a phase of... WTF? Ha ha. Does that make sense? I am opening myself up to experiences I have been closed to, in an effort to experience more truth. For instance, I decided a few months ago to stop denying my intuition and take ALL signs that I perceive as a truth to be reality. That means if I notice serendipity, if I get a feeling about something - I choose to see it as message from Spirit (not necessarily Master) and roll with it - see where it goes. All the dreams, the feelings - the vibrations and coincidences - the voice and vibrations - have been hitting me hard since. Then, this odd meditation experience - which honestly felt like something letting loose, going beyond. So, I must ask myself - is this a distraction from the goal, baser less evolved understandings of what is - or perhaps a more valid truth for me - on this plane, at this time - a hidden desire that must be satiated - or simply...nada? Ha ha. You are young yet. Welcome to life in your 40s. The more you know, the more you realize you do not know anything.
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Old 04-16-2016, 11:08 PM   #4
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If I had experienced that,I would have attributed it to the 'simply nada' category.objectively Interesting undoubtedly, maybe a kundalini manifestation but not much to be elated of or worried about spiritually.
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Old 04-17-2016, 05:00 AM   #5
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Thanks McCoy.
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Old 04-17-2016, 10:23 AM   #6
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Did I just get grasshoppered? Hehe

I'm not an ideal anything, either. WTF is a state I am pretty familiar with. I've never been on the straight and narrow. You can confirm this by querying your forum database. I have some trouble relating to those who are or have been.

If you google teeth chattering there are stories of people who associate it with kundalini. And hearing sounds is suggestive of that too. I don't know what else you think it could be. Calling it kundalini can be taken as a hypotheses. Until they write a DSM for kundalini that's what it is. Kundalini is just an umbrella term to me to account for a bunch of phenomena that doesn't have an otherwise straight-forward explanation. I could live without it.

I am still trying to figure out where all the pieces go. It's not a crime to be confused and have doubts, even if people treat it like one. I sincerely doubt that anyone fully knows what is going on. Trying to figure it out is starting to look like a vain task anyway.

My relationship, if you want to call it that, to Yogananda and his teachings is also complex and subtle. A realization for me is that it was mostly fantasy and yes, escapism. But what isn't escapism of one sort or another? Anyway, I am still trying to figure it all out which is why I admitted I might benefit from some psychoanalyzed (not much faith in psychology here, either).

I never signed that contract or anything. I got most of my exposure through Ananda because their web presence is stronger and the lower the barrier of entry a bit. The only thing I feel comfortable saying about the contract right now is, sorry, but no. The truth is, perhaps I have no business being here. I got sick with facebook and so came back to an old haunt. I sort of feel like I don't really fit in anywhere at all, which might be something to finally just embrace.

All the best
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Old 04-17-2016, 02:36 PM   #7
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Brock, most likely everyone of us is a misfit
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Old 04-17-2016, 05:03 PM   #8
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Thanks Brock. Wasn't my intention to grasshopper anyone - but that's cute. We are all grasshoppers and age has little to do with it, right? . Thanks for the encouraging words about confusion and doubt. Maybe you did not intend to be encouraging, but you were. Ha ha. Figuring all things out is surely not likely in this dimension, but learning what we can is not in vain, methinks. What else is there to do?

You belong here, and anywhere else you go. We are all searching - 'diving deep'! Yogananda's teachings ring of truth to me - I find a great deal of value in them, but He is not for everyone - and not everyone will have a guru. Not everyone who finds a guru will have the same one forever, either. There are so many paths. His advice against spiritual indigestion touched me because I realized I had been dabbling in everything, but not fully practicing any one thing - not giving any one practice a chance. Deep down, however, I will always be who I am - always question and explore!

Googling teeth chattering and head vibrations, one finds many things - including all of those terrifyingly gloomy medical websites. Apparantly what I experienced could be some form of kundalini OR... the onset of multiple sclerosis. Doh! Ha ha. Oh, let us not forget possible connection to an extra terrestrial nation! The one I like most - really - is an activation of Self, something I have been trying to manifest. What I mean is activation of my more psychic self. I very much want to develop skills in working with energy, for healing - for helping - and to attempt to nurture a life long curiosity about all things intangible and mysterious.

McCoy - yes! We are all misfits, and in that - belong together - or at least experience some temporary comfort in being around other 'weirdos'.
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Old 04-18-2016, 12:09 PM   #9
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Old 05-07-2016, 12:32 AM   #10
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Delsol, I have met in this decade several people who are much more advanced intuitively than I am. Clearly, you are one such, too. Invariably, on this limited evidence of my observing, when someone has developed to that level, Spirit wants them to fully trust their intuition; often, though not always, the person is having to overcome inner resistance to such total trusting even though they have the skill to distinguish true intuition from wishful thinking, desire, fear, rational process, etc.

You, I observe, were being literally shaken about. Sometimes the outer experience is symbolic of the inner feeling of how one's life is.

It may be that you are more in touch with your own answer to your questions than you have cognitively noticed. I have put below a selection from your second posting on this thread, and with added highlighting.

Perhaps you will mentally hold this posting in the palm of your mind and invite your intuition to pan it (as if with a gold pan) and find out if any 'gold' remains.

If so, . If not, peace be and God bless you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Delsol View Post
I am not an ideal yogini. My relationship with Master is complex - decades long now, and rife with rebellious periods and questions.

Since I was very young I have had spiritual (paranormal?) experiences. This bred an insatiable curiosity in all things other worldy. here I am all these years later - still wondering. I have denied myself all explorations beyond what Master advises. Despite this, the yearning to explore has remained.

Recently, I am opening myself up to experiences I have been closed to, in an effort to experience more truth. For instance, I decided a few months ago to stop denying my intuition and take ALL signs that I perceive as a truth to be reality. That means if I notice serendipity, if I get a feeling about something - I choose to see it as message from Spirit (not necessarily Master) and roll with it - see where it goes. All the dreams, the feelings - the vibrations and coincidences - the voice and vibrations - have been hitting me hard since. Then, this odd meditation experience - which honestly felt like something letting loose, going beyond.
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Old 11-16-2016, 11:34 AM   #11
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We don't chose our guru, God chooses him for us.
I don't understand everything,but where I am at, the guru is the person to help you through the third eye to a higher level of consciousness.
For not quite so advanced souls like myself, it's quite dangerous to dabble in too many paths and let oneself get hypnotised for when one one is in real danger, for example, it's the job of the guru (who has been appointed by God) to be our saviour.
Remember the story about Dr Louis in danger at sea, Yoganandagi could only help him when Dr Louis remembered to turn to him through the third eye.
Yoganandagi also says to pray to God through the language of your soul. In the diversity of creation every soul's path differs slightly...
And Delsol, you probably were attracted to Yogananda's broadmindedness. He wrote poems such as 'come to me as Moses, come to me as Mohammed, come to me as Buddha.....

We're all different, some love him as a friend, others as a master, others as our child ....!
Anything goes! ( I think ). Loyalty is something we all have to develop, and it may be that you're more loyal than you think, Delsol.
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Old 11-03-2017, 07:38 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delsol View Post

Since I was very young I have had spiritual (paranormal?) experiences. This bred an insatiable curiosity in all things other worldy. When I took on the Yogananda teachings, I signed a paper that promised I would be true to the Guru and put an end to my 'spiritual indigestion'. This made sense at the time, but here I am all these years later - still wondering. When it came time for Kriya initiation, I declined. Why? I was expected to make a promise - like a marriage - to be true to the Guru not just in this life, but all lives - and knew my own nature better. Still, I am very loyal - and even without that contract, I have denied myself all explorations beyond what Master advises. Despite this, the yearning to explore has remained.

Recently, due to life changes beyond my control, I find myself in a phase of... WTF? Ha ha. Does that make sense? I am opening myself up to experiences I have been closed to, in an effort to experience more truth.
Nobody could really take Kriya if they truly had to promise to be true to the Guru for all lives. The way I understand these type of sacred oaths is that they are stored in the astral (or higher), so that in the next life, at the right time, their power can be 'bestowed' upon us, in the form of a mysterious or spiritual experience that leads us back to the path. The oath itself becomes the memory beacon. So such a promise is not something to be held to, 'or else', but to inject as much spiritual intent into it as possible. The power of that intent/devotion sets up the unbroken dynamic from life to life.

It may not even necessarily mean that we are always attracted to the same Guru. The Guru could direct us to another master, or 'Guru-by-proxy'. Of course, such considerations are way beyond our control. We only find out after the fact; when it's too late to turn back.

(It wouldn't be impossible that other gurus are sending their disciples to Yogananda in this life, because he gave the world a teaching that anyone could practice at home.)
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Old 11-04-2017, 05:23 AM   #13
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What you're writing seems very wise stream.

I would add that I had the same doubts than Delsol.
Master doesn't ask us to be perfect. In a certain pledge, he asks us to practice things "to the best of our ability".
He doesn't expect us to be perfect, but never to accept failure and to always fight for our improvement.
Just do your best, and be a warrior. "Fais de ton mieux, et sois une guerrière" ;-)
Banat, Banat, ban Jai :-)

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Old 11-05-2017, 01:13 AM   #14
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yes, banat banat ban jai.

I was equal shares ignorance and sincerity when accepting the Guru-disciple relationship, but in that state, beyond devotion, what could I truly promise? The great value of the eternal promise was in Master's promise to me.

It's funny that you mention French. In French the disciple who receives Kriya and the Guru-disciple relationship says: 'J'accepte'. I accept. But English the words are 'I do'. In answer to the question 'do you accept?' the answer is 'I do'. The same idea, but when these are the first words uttered by a new disciple to the Guru I think I'd much prefer 'I accept'; in recognition of the incredible gift that is being received.
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Old 11-10-2017, 12:10 PM   #15
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Nobody could really take Kriya if they truly had to promise to be true to the Guru for all lives. The way I understand these type of sacred oaths is that they are stored in the astral (or higher), so that in the next life, at the right time, their power can be 'bestowed' upon us, in the form of a mysterious or spiritual experience that leads us back to the path. The oath itself becomes the memory beacon. So such a promise is not something to be held to, 'or else', but to inject as much spiritual intent into it as possible. The power of that intent/devotion sets up the unbroken dynamic from life to life.

It may not even necessarily mean that we are always attracted to the same Guru. The Guru could direct us to another master, or 'Guru-by-proxy'. Of course, such considerations are way beyond our control. We only find out after the fact; when it's too late to turn back.

(It wouldn't be impossible that other gurus are sending their disciples to Yogananda in this life, because he gave the world a teaching that anyone could practice at home.)
wow, your first paragraph looks like a pretty good understanding of the way a sacred oath to a guru leads us back to him in the next life, imho, Stream. The second paragraph has me scratching my head a little. If we take an oath of loyalty to P.Y., he's not going to re-direct us to another guru in a future incarnation. He's promised to stay with us until we reach emancipation, however long that takes.

Of course, if we hold back on taking the oath of loyalty, all bets are off. Then He's going to cut us loose, and we could end up with any number of gurus and God knows how many incarnations. I guess the point for me is how long do we want to stay on this mayic roller coaster ride and endless, re-curring cycles of WTF? lol

I mean, most of us have had pretty good lives, but after awhile we figure out what's going on. We get tired of this endless good/bad, plus/minus, happy/sad stuff. Every time something good happens to us, something not-so-good comes along to balance it out. Of course, Divine Mother purposely set it up that way so that we can never be satisfied with ordinary human happiness because we're made for perfect happiness. So to shorten the process, at some point we're going to have to commit to one path, which most of us have.

If we stay true to this Path, we can get out fast enough that we won't have to be concerned with other gurus. A devotee from the old y-net board said that the brothers at Richmond Temple said that on this Path, many devotees can make is in one lifetime, many more in two lifetimes, and anyone can make it by three lifetimes. Sister Priya, in one of her talks, said succinctly that this Path will get us to the goal in the shortest time with the least amount of suffering.

Even you "signature" at the bottom indicates this:
"The darkness of maya is silently approaching. Let us hie homeward within." - Swami Sri Yukteswar
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Old 11-10-2017, 04:03 PM   #16
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wow, your first paragraph looks like a pretty good understanding of the way a sacred oath to a guru leads us back to him in the next life, imho, Stream. The second paragraph has me scratching my head a little. If we take an oath of loyalty to P.Y., he's not going to re-direct us to another guru in a future incarnation. He's promised to stay with us until we reach emancipation, however long that takes.

Of course, if we hold back on taking the oath of loyalty, all bets are off. Then He's going to cut us loose, and we could end up with any number of gurus and God knows how many incarnations. I guess the point for me is how long do we want to stay on this mayic roller coaster ride and endless, re-curring cycles of WTF? lol

I mean, most of us have had pretty good lives, but after awhile we figure out what's going on. We get tired of this endless good/bad, plus/minus, happy/sad stuff. Every time something good happens to us, something not-so-good comes along to balance it out. Of course, Divine Mother purposely set it up that way so that we can never be satisfied with ordinary human happiness because we're made for perfect happiness. So to shorten the process, at some point we're going to have to commit to one path, which most of us have.

If we stay true to this Path, we can get out fast enough that we won't have to be concerned with other gurus. A devotee from the old y-net board said that the brothers at Richmond Temple said that on this Path, many devotees can make is in one lifetime, many more in two lifetimes, and anyone can make it by three lifetimes. Sister Priya, in one of her talks, said succinctly that this Path will get us to the goal in the shortest time with the least amount of suffering.

Even you "signature" at the bottom indicates this:
"The darkness of maya is silently approaching. Let us hie homeward within." - Swami Sri Yukteswar
I don't know how it all works, but I do know I can pledge my loyalty to Guruji for this life....

In the Loyalty CD, Br. Anandamoyji talks about deeper aspects - to be loyal totally means more than just staying on the SRF path...in order to be truly loyal you have to trust Guruji implicitly....do your best and give it to Guruji, and trust that He will take care of you - let go...

....this also applies to meditation - to go deep, you have to be able to trust and let go...he even talks about trusting and letting go of the fear when you start to lose body consciousness in deeper states of meditation....we are all definitely attached to these bodies....like the birds who don't want to fly out of the cage when given the chance

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Old 11-10-2017, 06:42 PM   #17
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Wow, Delsol, that is indeed a very strange experience!
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Old 11-10-2017, 08:17 PM   #18
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wow, your first paragraph looks like a pretty good understanding of the way a sacred oath to a guru leads us back to him in the next life, imho, Stream. The second paragraph has me scratching my head a little. If we take an oath of loyalty to P.Y., he's not going to re-direct us to another guru in a future incarnation. He's promised to stay with us until we reach emancipation, however long that takes.
It may seem that way, but the guru is not limited by our expectations. The AY holds some interesting clues in this regard.

Kashi begged Master to find him in his next life. Master then did everything in his power to find the reborn Kashi, and later guided him to a Himalayan Master...

The guru's promise is to introduce us to God. How he wishes to guide us to that door is his business.
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Old 11-12-2017, 04:53 PM   #19
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quote - If we take an oath of loyalty to P.Y., he's not going to re-direct us to another guru in a future incarnation. He's promised to stay with us until we reach emancipation, however long that takes. (ends)

Yes and no...... Yes, because, in the words of another Guru, "If you once say 'Yes' to Me, I am with you for all time." And no, in that one's own true Guru may send one to another Guru for some specific guidance or support as a step on one's path. That doesn't mean one's Guru is not guiding one from behind the "stage curtain" of that experience, be it a brief encounter or a several lives long excursion.

For example, at this time a Guru might (openly or secretly) send disciple/s of theirs to SRF to learn Kriya, and later call their own one back to themselves.
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Old 11-12-2017, 05:33 PM   #20
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Personal Story

There is no end of options in multiplicity of "I". I am. That I am I mean.

Some 40 yrs ago, back in puberty, I read AOY first time, and I had this question, bugging me for some years. Is Kriya my path? And, is Yogananda my guru?

The pressure for an answer rose in me over time. It grew so big, that I finally decided (in my mid-twenties) to face it 100%. So I asked Him. And I did not stop asking. No, I continued asking for days and nights, incessantly. Leaving everything else aside. No work (studies then), only prayer... always the same prayer, questioning Him.

A major part of my heartfelt situation then was, I could not accept a guru in form of a peace of paper (as in lessons), but wanted a personal guru, in the flesh.

So. "Are you my Guru and is Kriya my path??"

And. "If Kriya is my path, please, send me a personal Guru!"

After two or three days and nights of intense prayer, the answer came.

Suffice it to say, Yogananda came in a dream. He gave me initiation into Kriya in that dream and said, he sent me a Guru in this life, when he could not be with me, still Kriya was my path.

It was in my mid-thirtees, when I finally met the man who bestowed God's grace on me in full potential. A householder in Europe, giving initiations. When we met, he said to me, "Yes, I am He, who you've been waiting for."

So, truth finds it's ways. This life, or another, future one.

---
posting this as encouragement only, not looking forward to disclose more details.
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